My First Flirt
I have heard many times throughout my life that all great adventures begin with “Once Upon a Time.” Never have I questioned that logic until I embarked on a great story of my own.
My adventure begins with a text, starting something like this:
FRIEND: Girls night idea – Groupon at Flirt Fitness
Response: What is that? I need to look into it
[start googling, what? Whoa! Seriously? This is a must. ]
Response: I am in!
THEREFORE, IT STARTS!
Never in a grip would I have thought that something as simple as a simple Groupon purchase would be the turning point in my life. A planetary alignment, direct celestial intervention causes my somber world to turn upon its head a change in my life, heart and soul.
Back to the Story…
The day of the intro arrived, being the ever- prepared person. I had a yoga mat, water bottle and no way of knowing the time warp for which we were embarking. My friends and I spent the day texting back and forth envisioning what the 90 minutes of class would be like. Talking about Demi Moore in Strip Tease and how we were all going to be experts or fall flat on our faces, there was no in between. Clearly, we were all nervous. With my loyal friends by my side, I knew at the very least, this experience was going to be hilarious. I mean, we are the funniest people we know.
The woman at the front desk was sweet, handing us paperwork where we signed over our lives and all liability. At this moment, dread sets in, looming in the future. Were we going to break ourselves? What did we agree to do? Hands shaking with anxiety, we completed the paperwork. All stopping on the paragraph about Flirt being a “free zone” for women to be whomever they want, express themselves as they wish and support each other through sisterly bonds. Signing over our first-born children and accepting all liability. Miss Front desk lady showed us around and ushered us into our room.
It was purple and I mean PURPLE, one wall was adorned with mirrors, directly across a wall emblazoned with the Flirt Logo and the words “be confident, be sexy, be empowered.” Staggered in the middle of the room were seven ominous chrome shimmering poles, each a daunting 12 feet tall. We all played around the bases, reenacting scenes from movies, sitting on our yoga mats making inappropriate jokes attempting to disguise our discomfort.
In comes our instructor and we quieted down; much the way students do on the first day of class, nervous and giggling with apprehensions. A wave of intimidation washes over me. She was so confident, she had a genuine sweetness and a passion flowed from her without cessation. Instantly intimidated, I doubted my participation for the hundredth time that day. We introduced ourselves; mostly for her benefit. I mean, we all knew each other and were confident in our masses. It was time for class to start.
It began with a meditation, accompanied by an encouraging passage read to soothing music. Confidence returns, we got this. We are all quite “fit”, former dancers, current runners and two mothers, each of two. We figured this would be easy, unbeknownst to us; we were in for something near unholy. This is where it gets REAL! We learned to prance, accompanied with laughing and a multitude of unsolicited comments; we kept prancing and tick-tocking our legs. In a hurry, the jokes ceased due to concentration as the burn deep in our abdomens and thighs intensified. For dear God, stop this madness! Yet the ticking continued. Mercy, uncle, what is the safe word? I do not remember seeing that in the pre-class paperwork. Battling internal thoughts of surrender, I endured on for years, in real time less than five minutes had passed. In a true act of generousness, the time for prancing was over. Whew! We caught our breath, intimidated by what was next.
Our intimate introduction to Edwardo and Jose. Never before in my life, have I become so close to a wall. There was no warming up to it (him?) just going for it. Learning transitions from the wall to the pole, with the grace of a newborn giraffe learning to walk. She made it look so easy! Accompanied by more laughs and jokes from us students and encouraging words from our instructor, who despite of our jokes remained on task, a serious superhuman power. She was quick with praise and joined in our banter. I felt at ease, not aware of my gangly legs or awkward body motions. A comfort that for me, is quite difficult to achieve. I started feeling a fulfilling sense of belonging, something I had not experienced in years. Adulting is hard, long have I been stuck in the humdrum life of work and household domesticity. I was mentally, physically and emotionally charged.
Our time was nearing end (much to my dismay). Our instructor accompanied by an additional instructor performed the level one routine for us with improvising at the end, watching in awe unable to look away or speak. It was as if an inner beast had risen from its much too long slumber and was igniting with a passion I had long forgot. The combination of dance, workout, strength, fitness and womanly bonds was overpowering, but in a good way. We said our good byes, with a group hug, an electric charge in the air. Conversations now laced with confidence and awe of the shape of things to come. I knew I was hooked, signing up for level 1 before walking out the doors with a, to quote Dr. Frank-N-Furter, “shiver with anticipation.” Eager for the weeks to pass quickly, so I could get another dose of this drug known as Flirt Fitness.
About the Author:
I am me, no more no less. I am rather fluid and quirky. I am a lover of Tim Burton movies, things that are dark and morbid, and animals. Quick to make a joke, laugh and protect those I hold dear. I truly believe each day is a new chance to change the world, or at the very least improve someone’s day. I love giving compliments. I am a friend, wife, sister, daughter, step-monster and fabulous aunt. Most importantly, I am a work in progress. Having struggled with a lack of self-confidence since childhood, I tend to be pessimistic. I am eager to help others and give every task 100% effort and attention. I am prone to turn to humor as a ploy to distract people from realizing I misbehave…a lot.